Clare

Exaaaaaaaaams

2010-10-30T04:01:37Z

Had my first two exams today. Now they are over.

Them being over is the best thing that has happened to me in ALL THE DAYS.

My brain has given up. I believe it is currently more or less the consistency of mashed banana. If I tilt my head, I'm concerned it may come trickling out my ear.

But this day is over, and one day perhaps, with some steady practice and encouragement, I may be able to think in a straight line again.

Uuuuuuuuuuuh only Spanish left, thank you Allah, Buddha and baby Jesus

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That time of year again

2010-10-17T09:31:37Z

So, y'all, I really was planning on staying clean. I even saw all those posts on my reading page and shook my head a little. Not this year I said to myself. You won't fool me again.

I was wrong.

So it looks like, come November 1st, I'll be joining the hustle and bustle of the NaNo lifestyle once more. Because the exam period isn't stressful enough as it is. Caitlin, I blame you.

No, quite honestly, I love doing NaNo. I love writing a lot, but I'm a lazy sod so it takes me a kick in the pants like NaNo to actually get me churning words out onto the paper. My plot for this year has been developed over the course of a single afternoon, which is not ideal, but it's something to work with. I've just finished naming all the main characters, which is satisfying.

Let the novelling commence!

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Interesting article re: Maori and feminism

2010-10-12T00:47:49Z

I was linked to an interesting article today about the display at Te Papa of some Maori taonga, due to open next month some time. This is the article: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/4221890/Pregnant-women-warned-off-Te-Papa-tour#comments

The gist of it is that Te Papa is requesting pregnant or menstruating women not to come on the tour of these taonga. Women who are pregnant or have their period are tapu, as are the taonga on display, and (in my admittedly limited knowledge of tikanga) two tapu things shouldn't go up against each other for their safety, basically*.

I thought the overriding bias in the article. All but one of the people interviewed, as far as I can tell, are Pakeha and don't have much of an idea about tikanga Maori or why this is an issue. The only person to support Te Papa's decision said that they did so because of their knowledge of Maori culture, and not a single self-identified Maori person was asked, let alone someone like a kuia, whose opinion would not only be interesting but actually relevant because they actually know what they're talking about.

This was the comment I left at the discussion where I found it:

*This is an INCREDIBLY simplified explanation, ignoring a considerable number of other factors at play and based on my limited knowledge. If it is wrong, please tell me so I can put it right.

I think that Te Papa's made a good call here. It isn't a ban, it's a request. Given that it's generally accepted that women wear a headscarf to go to a mosque or not singlets to go visit the Vatican, I don't see why this would be so different. Yes, it is enforcing a standard on women that men don't have to adhere to, but it's also a culture that's not my own, so if I don't like it, I have the choice to not participate aka stay away.

More than that, I think the fact that people are kicking up a fuss about Maori 'oppressing' women is deeply suspect. Maori were the original people of New Zealand, they were given a raw deal during English colonisation, and for years their culture was ignored and disrespected. It's only recently that white New Zealand has begun to recognise the value of Maori culture and tradition, and to trample over this culture just because it doesn't agree with a Western woman's idea of feminism is really offensive to Maori as a people.

Tapu is some serious shit, and has a LOT of significance. I can understand that it might cause inconvenience for women who wouldn't be able to see the exhibit otherwise, but I still think that Te Papa's well within their rights to request this, and that it'd be pretty damn entitled to ignore it and go anyway.

*This is an INCREDIBLY simplified explanation, ignoring a considerable number of other factors at play and based on my limited knowledge. If it is wrong, please tell me so I can put it right.

What's everyone else's thoughts on this?

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-10-10T00:25:00

2010-10-09T22:28:06Z

It is morning.

I think I'm going to get up, and rather than going to brunch and eating greasy hash browns and bacon, go into town and buy myself a crepe.

Yum.

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-10-02T07:49:00

2010-10-02T06:48:33Z

Have been meaning to update here for yonks, but I keep getting distracted. Like now, for instance: I opened this tab about two hours ago, then talked to some people on FB, read a couple interesting articles, played Sudoku, talked to Dad on the phone... then went, come on Clare, get your arse into gear.

Nothing especially interesting has been going on in my life, just uni, friends, books, work etc. Oh, work is news, I guess! Finally got a job filing and doing odd jobs for a lawyer, which is great and I'm really enjoying it.

I've started looking for work over the summer, as well. Either in my town, so I live with my parents rent free, or over on the coast at Punakaiki, where our family has a bach. I quite like the idea of Punakaiki, cos I'd be living by myself, doing a bit of something interesting, independence, cheap living etc, but on the downside... it's in the middle of nowhere. The only people there are tourists and DOC workers. There's not a lot in the way of night life, unless you consider the pub where I might be bartending nightlife - and I don't. But it's still doable, and I'd (theoretically) get all fit and tanned from doing lots of outdoorsy stuff on my days off instead of spending all my money on booze and clothes.

Only about a month til the very end of uni, which is scary as shit. Scarier is that there's only TWO WEEKS left of term before study leave, and I'm suddenly like OH GOD SO MUCH WORK WHAT DO I DOOOOOOO. To which the short answer is: sunbathe. It's been beautiful and sunny and I've been soaking up every possible ray of sun.

Also today, which was awesome, I kind of organised a clothing swap between all my friends! Excite! So now I have a ton of new clothes culled from everyone else, which is always fun.

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-09-12T02:10:00

2010-09-12T00:17:25Z

Am reading a good New Zealand book today, which makes me happy. It's called Guardian of the Dead by Katherine Healey, and I think I actually first heard about it from here or LJ, so yay for good recommendations.

I really enjoy the way it uses the setting - my city, which is extra-fun cos I can picture it all so clearly - and utilises the rich folklore and mythic tradition of the Maori. It does mean it'll be harder for outsiders to 'get', but I think Ms Healey does a pretty good job of that. I'm just happy to see a New Zealand story properly grounded in New Zealand and using New Zealand traditions. You would think it'd be more common, because Maori myths are pretty hardcore, but I don't know if I can think of many others that do so.

And on a side note, faeries, or patupaiarehe, have a fairly major role in the plot, and it confuses me a little every time. I didn't even realise I identified that much with this handle, but when I see 'patupaiarehe' written out, I just assume it's talking about me. And in this case, it's not. Who knew I had an internet identity? Not me :P

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Friendslock

2010-08-08T03:50:00Z

Just as an FYI, since my mum found my LJ, I've decided to get a LOT better at locking things up. So from now on, both my LJ and my DW are Friends Only.

If you wanna add me, just leave a comment so I know who you are :)

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Meme day 2

2010-08-05T01:26:10Z

( Your first love )

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Meme! 30 days of me

2010-08-04T04:18:05Z

( Day 1: Introduce yourself )

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-08-03T03:57:00

2010-08-03T02:05:45Z

We began discussing feminism today in my International Relations lecture. Exciting! I was a bit nervous about how it would go, but our lecturer was really on top of things and pro-feminist. There was a fair bit of class discussion, which is where some collossally stupid comments were made, but on the whole it was pretty good. I stuck up for the 'card carrying feminists' and called some of the particularly challenged out on their comments that in fact were total shit.

But the best part was after the lecture, when we were all leaving, and a girl tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Good on you for speaking up! I really agree with what you were saying."

Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

(At some point I will write about my weekend, which was awesome, but I wanted to share this first)

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Feeling sorry for myself

2010-07-27T06:00:57Z

Today I have eaten:
5 grapes
3 almonds
a kitkat
1 and a bit potatoes

This is normally less than I eat in a MEAL, but I have never been less hungry in my life. I try and eat anyway and my stomach goes and ties itself in knots, so I stop. Being sick sucks.

Especially cos I'm going to try go to go back to classes tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.

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Uuurgh

2010-07-25T22:11:53Z

( I'm siiiiiiiick (kinda TMI) ).

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Leg hair - a feminist issue?

2010-07-20T08:39:39Z

Crossposted at http://vuwsawomens.tumblr.com/ (there's a picture there, too)

Leg har: Ew, it’s so gross/disgusting/dirty/wrong! Unless you’re a boy and not a swimmer or cyclist. Then it’s basically compulsory, or people will start making snide remarks about your sexuality.

But I still haven’t managed to get my head about the reaction to female leg hair. Why is it more gross than, say, your eyebrows? Why does no one ever go, “Ew, you have hairy eyebrows”? I haven’t shaved my legs since I was fourteen, but without fail, when I don shorts and let my leg hair run wild and free, I get the familiar chorus of “Gross! That’s so rank!”

Uh, actually, it’s not. I wash just as much as you do. Maybe more. But these days, the only women seen to have leg hair are either feminists, or lesbians. Or LESBIAN FEMINISTS – run for cover!

Having hairy legs wouldn’t be a big deal to me if people didn’t keep making it one. I don’t shave my legs because I can’t be bothered: it takes me ages, it’s boring, I’m not that keen on the slimy feeling of just-shaved legs, and the sight of leg hair has never disturbed me. But the more people hassle me about this totally trivial thing, the more it becomes part of my identity. So these days, in reaction to people’s pointed questions and pulled faces, I’ll rant about the double standards and infantilising of women. These things are true – the double standards are total bullshit, and the trend of removing all women’s body hair strikes me as seriously weird – but they were never the reason I stopped shaving. I just did it because I wanted to!

But with all the pressure people put on me, if I weren’t a feminist – if I weren’t used to having unpopular and weird beliefs (women should get paid the same as men? RADICAL) – I probably would’ve caved years ago. And I’m sure this is the case with lots of women; they shave their legs because they’re expected to, because it’s too much hassle not to. How dumb is that? So I like to think that by being stubborn about this, I am making it easy for more lazy people to do fun things with their time, like Facebook or Spider Solitaire, instead of pissing around with razors and shaving gel and whatnot. Because it’s not going to become normal until people start doing it!

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Back to uni

2010-07-15T06:28:11Z

Getting the hang on this 'studying' thing again. Even did some out of class study today. Main observation from my readings: Milton Keynes - fan of naked struggling/wrestling. Ideology vs ideologies lolwhut.

Possibly not productive, but given we HAVE to write a page of notes for each chapter we read, I figured it may as well be entertaining. I don't like making notes like that because it breaks the flow of my reading, and it really annoys me that this course is telling me how to study, like I'm to dumb to figure out my own strategy, but I'm a grownup. I'll cope

Anyway, courses. Italian same as ever, Spanish pretty similar, but with friends and a different teacher, International Relations interesting, if occasionally hard to follow, Political Science boring as fuck. And also the lecturer's a dumbarse. This is the course where they force us to conform to their study habits.

The course itself should be good, though, so I haven't quite given up hope.

I'm doing my normal well-meaning but crap job for Women's Group - today I was in charge of minding the stall we're running, but I didn't know how to set up or where any of our stuff was stored or anything, so I looked around a bit and asked a few people, then basically freaked out a little bit and went home. I do ok when I'm working with someone else, but by myself I just have no clue. Anyway, first meeting tomorrow, should be good. Also, we're starting a blog to which I'll be contributing, so when I start posting stuff, I'll link to it here.

Gareth asked me out tonight, which made me feel pretty awesome, not gunna lie. I told him I thought he should be on his own for a bit, but the odds were good that at some point I'd be willing to give it a go. I feel good for asserting myself :)

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Oh god

2010-07-11T01:16:46Z

A) I overdid the tequila last night and can't remember about 80% of the night. Apparently I hooked up with two of Jessie's cute flatmate's friends. And I am wearing the cute flatmate's t-shirt.

B) Gareth and his girlfriend broke up

I do not know up from down at the moment. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN WHEN I AM SO HUNGOVER

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Sigh

2010-07-09T02:48:49Z

Why will no one give me a job?

It's just ridiculous. I try and I try and I try and no one wants me, nothing comes back, nothing ever works out and it's so fucking DUMB! I am a fantastic worker: I'm dedicated and smart and willing to go the extra fucking mile if only someone would see that!

Some dick at the French cafe said he wouldn't give me a job because I didn't smile at him when I walked in. Would that be because a) it was bloody FREEZING outside and not something worth smiling about, b) I didn't realise he was the waiter, c) I was too busy running through what I was going to say in my head or d) ALL OF THE FUCKING ABOVE!

I think I apologised and told him the wind had frozen my face up, then shoved my CV into his hand anyway. NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER. Then I left and realised even if he was to call me (which I HIGHLY doubt), someone's fucking nicked off with my cellphone ANYWAY so I'm basically unreachable.

So sick of all this SHIT. And it's so cold and disgusting outside and I just want to stay in bed all day, preferably cuddled up to someone amenable aka a fantasy because NO ONE'S interested in me like that either, so fuck.

I just want things to go my way for once.

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Sigh

2010-07-03T00:06:33Z

Every morning I tell myself I'll actually get up and get shit done today. And every morning I stumble out of bed ten minutes before lunch, having wasted half the day on the internet. Oh willpower, where did you go?

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Nature

2010-06-30T05:31:17Z

Finally guilted myself into doing some physical exercise today, and I'm so glad I did. I went for a long walk up in the Botanical Gardens, and it was food for my soul.

It was so nice, getting away and being surrounded by greenery, with trees towering over your head and dripping on you, and the green smell of the wet ground. In some of the crags and valleys of the gardens, traffic sounds die away and it's just so silent. The only sound the birds and the crunch of your shoes on the path. Listening and just hearing nothing is so relaxing. There's some part of me that's always noticing those background noises and telling me they're not important, and the feeling of not having to do that is fantastic.

Then I ended up in the playground and went on the swings and stared at the sky. I love swings. The swoosh of them and the way the chains go slack when you're going really high.

Who cares if I'm an adult, I'm going to play on swings anyway.

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-06-27T08:46:00

2010-06-27T07:05:27Z

Had a pretty good week this week. High points:

- lots of hanging out with everyone in the Bennett Lounge. This is quite funny because I don't live in the Bennett building and nor do half of my friends, it just has the nicest lounge to hang out in. If only the TV got reception, it would be perfect.
- studied relatively a lot for my Spanish exam and pretty sure I kicked it's arse. Aiming for an A+, touch wood.
- I finally had a serious discussion with Gareth and we've come to the conclusion that he's not going to come up here until either he can keep it in his pants or he breaks up with his girlfriend. And I won't be going down to visit him either. This is slightly sad, but I feel good that we had this conversation like mature people (adults might be stretching it :P) and we still get on fine.
- I've been having mad skillz with the boys. I picked up a dude, Matias from Chile, on Weds. He then (much to my surprise) text me on Saturday, asking if he'd be seeing me in town. And he did, but not until I'd already got to know Josh from Welly and Santiago from Argentina. Both of whom actually text me today! This is so surprising I can't even tell you.

Next week's gunna be pretty strange - everyone's going away for the holidays and I'm basically the only one of my friends still here. So I guess I'll be getting to know all the other folk at Vic staying for the holidays. New friends! I hope!

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Holiday!

2010-06-22T11:05:09Z

I keep opening a post to write about what I've been up to, going to Christchurch and going to Dunedin and seeing Gareth again, then I just leave it open and don't write anything. Too much to say, I guess, and at the same time I don't know what to write.

Christchurch was really nice, though. I can at least write about that with a degree of coherency. I spent a lot of time relaxing at home with the fam and the ADORABLE new kittens, and caught up with all the major Chch friends too, which was cool. Mum and I went up to Hanmer for a night and just had a really nice indulgent time, eating out and going to the hot pools and getting massages. It was nice to spend some time with her just hanging out, all casual.

The whole Dunedin thing was a very spontaneous last minute decision, but it was really good. It was great going down there with Surin and her flatmates and being chill. I also saw Gareth again and Surin and I ended up staying at his place the night and that's where things get complicated.

Suffice to say that nothing's really changed between him and me, even though we said it would. Our platonic resolutions of platonicness lasted all of about two hours, and that was only cos we were at his mate's flat with a bunch of people.

Surin doesn't like him, which I think is interesting. I'm doing my best not to be all like, "But you just don't UNDERSTAND him!!1!!ELEVENTY!" but it's pretty hard. Certainly I know he can be a dick at times, but he also seriously isn't at times, and I dunno, I think I might be a tad biased :P So all in all, I still don't know what to think or do, or I do know but I'm not prepared to do it.

Le sigh.

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Rotorua!

2010-06-07T04:06:43Z

We went, we saw bubbling mud, we played Wii Olympics! And also ate excellent food and soaked in the hot springs (mmm hotsprings).

We unfortunately didn't go raging all night cos Anam wasn't feeling 100%, but we had fun hanging out at the hostel with the other people there instead. FANTASTIC hostel; the staff were really awesome and there was really good free spag bol on Friday and free mudmasks as well.

So all in all, GREAT TIME, pity that the bus ride on the way home took about 15 years/10 hours. It was only supposed to be 7 and a bit, but... didn't quite pull that off. Very tedious.

Also, Palmerstone North is a complete hole and I advise wholeheartedly against going there.

Tomorrow I'm probably heading back to Christchurch for a couple of weeks, assuming my parents actually email me my flight information. Should be good! Looking forward to having a kitchen! And, you know, seeing my family and stuff.

Today has been a bit of a boring day. I was supposed to be meeting up with Paolo for a coffee and I had every intention of dragging him back to Vic and getting friendly, cos Chelsea's already gone home for the holidays, but he cancelled. His loss, I guess.

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Good things!

2010-06-02T23:12:27Z

These are the good things in my life:

- I am done for this semester! (Apart from my one exam and that's not til the 25th)

- I just did my final test in Italian and I'm feeling reasonably confident!

- I got my Italian essay back - A+, 93%!

- Anam and I are going to Rotorua for the weekend!

- I'm going back to Christchurch and an OVEN and a PANTRY and a DOUBLE BED next Tuesday!

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patupaiarehe @ 2010-05-31T00:10:00

2010-05-30T22:26:30Z

One more week til study leave. Thank god! I've got two speaking assignments today in Spanish and Italian, and then an Italian history test on Thursday that I'm going to have to do some serious study for, then I'm home free. Oh, and my last Sex and Ethics class is on Wednesday as well, which is a bit sad. It's been a really great course.

Then next Tuesday I'm flying home to a house with a PANTRY and an OVEN and a QUEEN SIZED BED. I'm very excited about this. I have a whole ton of recipes bookmarked on my computer to try out when I'm down there, and Mum and I are planning on going shopping together, and I'll be able to meet our kittens and see my friends again etc etc. All very exciting.

Oh, and there's other stuff I could add, but I can't be bothered tidying it up into something coherent, so I'll write another post at some other time. Like, after my speeches this afternoon. Did I mention my Italian oral is 8 minutes of unstructured speaking? And I'm fully just planning on making it up on the spot? Hmm...

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Traffic Light Party

2010-05-29T01:09:11Z

Last night was the Traffic Light party, as organised by my university's gay club, and it was a lot of fun. You take a ribbon at the door: red for taken, orange for free but not easy and green for you big slut, you! and then go party the night away.

I think it will surprise no one that I took green. Unfortunately, I still don't really have the hang of this whole picking up chicks thing - I'm so used to just waiting for the other person to make the first move that I don't really have the courage or the smarts to do it myself. I danced with a couple of people though, so you know.

One of the things I enjoyed most about the whole evening, though, were the number of people I knew there. Obviously there were a ton of people I recognised from UniQ, but also from my women's group and from my Sex and Ethics class. And then a number of people I knew from just 'around' and then I got to meet all their friends and it was really awesome and social.

This was probably for the best because I went with my friend Caitlin and her soon to be girlfriend Gabi, and it did get a bit thirdwheelish some times, but I could just swan off and hang out with Grace and Caleb from Sex and Ethics and their mates. And I learned how to dance the somethingorother from this really nice guy who was trying to talk me into making a move on his friend (we did dance, in the end, but I was too chicken to do anything else).

But yeah, on the whole, it was a really nice, sociable night, and I sort of found myself thinking, "oh, I guess maybe I am part of the queer community after all".

However, I think there seems to be a rule: the more desperate I am, the less action I get :S not so cool.

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Gossip lol

2010-05-23T00:21:03Z

I am the subject of gossip! It's quite entertaining, really, especially given I didn't think anyone at the hostel knew me enough to gossip about me. Actually, what they're probably saying is 'Did you hear about whatserface hooking up with Pierre's brother on Friday? And then she was out all night with Angus on Saturday! Who is she, anyway?"

But hey, I have no problem with a bit of notoriety. I find it pretty funny, especially the speed news gets around. For example, on Friday night I didn't see another soul in the hallway and didn't tell anyone, but somehow people all know about it. Maybe they're all voyeurs?

In completely unrelated news, my beloved cellphone has gasped its last. After one too many tumbles off the bar where I kept putting it only to knock it off with my elbow, the screen is refusing to work and the whole phone is basically useless. Bugger. O phone, I loved thee well.

I've had that phone since 2005, you know. That phone and I went through adolescence together.

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